Alternative title: The end is just the beginning 🙂

A little over a year ago, I had left my first professional job since college very disillusioned with the idea of work (I don’t dream of labor). When Gen Z (and I see you Millennials too) were young, we were promised a different future — one where we too, had a fair chance to obtain our dream life if we worked hard enough for it. But what does a dream life even look like and would it even be possible now? I’m writing this as DC hits one of its hottest days — with the outside temperature feeling like 103 degrees Fahrenheit. What future? I think we’re all just going to melt away…

Over the past year, I’ve felt the joy of freedom as much as the despair of hopelessness. Yes, I’ve loved being in control of my own time, but at the same time, my employment status and uncertain ambitions for the future left me feeling empty. A lot of emotions and thoughts were swirling through my head around the half-year mark and I felt an overwhelming guilt. What was I contributing here if the only person I was making happy was myself? Who was going to hire me after I’ve been unemployed for a while? I had a lot to talk about in therapy.

But the reality was, this year was productive — if fact I was busier than ever before attending to parts of my life that were neglected while I was working full-time. I got to spend more time with parents and helping them out, spent more time seeking new experiences, and spent more time with friends.

It also feels weird and counterintuitive that this happened but I actually became much more productive towards the end of my break — during the period of time between when I accepted my new job and when I actually started my job. I think healing from the guilt mindset I had and also having more clarity on my path forward allowed me to, ironically, focus more on things that matter to me. Part of me feels a little regretful that I wasn’t able to do this earlier in my break but I have to remind myself that there were other things that I did do/focus on that were equally as important.

So overall, I don’t regret taking this break. It was a positive and much necessary break for me to 1) learn to be okay with myself as I am and 2) establish my own priorities before I would go back out into a working world where everything else is a priority, except the people. What I didn’t understand and what school didn’t prepare me for was how to establish your boundaries and how to protect your self-worth and self-fulfillment as a working adult. It’s so important because at the end of day, everything that you do belongs to a company/entity. Sometimes you may see the direct impact your work has, and sometimes you may not. Some days it can feel like nothing you do matters. Viewing work as simply as one part of my colorful life has helped me cope. It’s like when you’re in a relationship but your partner obviously cannot fulfill your every need — you should still have your own life and separate friends/outlets where you can feel fulfilled. Like with work, it’s not going to fill my cup all the way, so it’s necessary for me to have other things that I’m passionate about and working towards outside of it.

Okay, so you might be wondering, Julie, has your perspective on work changed after not working for a year? I didn’t think so until I started my first week at my new job (!!) and read an interview of Jin from BTS — who recently completed his compulsory military service in South Korea (people who know me know I post/talk about this all the time on social media lol sorry not sorry) — had to say on happiness.

The lesson I learned is to ‘just live happily.’ We all perceive the same situation differently. I try to let go of things as quickly as possible. What’s done is done, and you can’t rewind the clock. It’s better to move on and focus on remembering the good things. That is the biggest lesson I have learned.

I’m the type of person who finds satisfaction in the present rather than dwelling on the future, and I don’t foresee any significant changes. There may be big and small events, but I believe I will always remain unchanged.

These days, I feel happiest when I am working. We all have to work, so someone who feels happy while working would be a truly happy person.

Translated by @SaraBangtan07 on X/Twitter of Jin’s W Korea interview

I really admire Jin’s easy-going mindset because it’s really hard to maintain! But I agree with his underlying message of not dwelling on things if we don’t have to — which is totally against my nature as an overthinker and serial pessimist. I’ve noticed that as a newbie developer, there were so many challenges and concerns I had at first. I felt really bad about my lack of skills and experience. But that’s only to be expected when you are just starting something. Feeling challenged or uncomfortable can be a great catalyst for change and for learning, and so I’ve learned to embrace not being the most knowledgeable person in the room. As I grew as a person and as a developer, I gained more confidence in myself to be able to navigate difficult situations and make the most out of it. As I’m adjusting to my new job, I find it easier to adapt and ask for what I need.

I do think my mindset has changed from a year ago to accepting work as not only necessary to survive but also as a vehicle for me to grow in. The connections I make and the things that I do at work will all contribute to my growth and even help me in my passions that I spend time on outside of work. Acknowledging that work won’t fill my cup alone means that I’ll be able to establish a better balance between working and showing up for other things that I believe in. I think that’s part of what it means to have a fulfilling life — ultimately it’s a shift in mindset. Recognizing what you have control over and what you don’t have control over, and still being optimistic and upbeat about life in the end.

That concludes my year-long journey of rest, recovery, and experimentation. Like a lotus flower, I’ve been reborn again and have started on a new journey. This isn’t the end though, so stay tuned for my next move ;).

P.S. One of my efforts is that I want to write more and also just create and produce things that are more “me”. I came across this really fascinating post on reasons to write more and a huge one that resonated with me was finding community! I love it when I meet someone creative and ideas and inspiration spark! Which means if you see this and you want to connect, let me know ❤